I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
