Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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