some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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