She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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