He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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