I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
