I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
