I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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