Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
