she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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