I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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