member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
