Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
