dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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