two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
