All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
