dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
