you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
