he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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