she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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