so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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