Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
