butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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