That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
