sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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