Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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