I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
