At least make sure they are 18
Why
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
