I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
