wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
