It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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