I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
