Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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