dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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