I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
