Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
