Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
