He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
