There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
