I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
