i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
