Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
