If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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