He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
