Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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