I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
