I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
