id be glad to
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
