We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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