So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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