He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
