IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
