just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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