Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Naked Twister starts at high noon
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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