waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
this hospital has no fireball
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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