i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
