So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
