Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
